Saturday, 23 November 2013

Am I an addict?

I finished Dark Souls, after what felt like literally days of play, oh wait, it was days of play. When I managed to defeat the final boss and the unsurprisingly curt final cut scene kicked in, it was one of the most cathartic gaming moments I have ever had. It wasn't because I now understood the game fully (I don't even after 160ish hours), or even that the plot is fully revealed. I think I finally got one of the biggest highs gaming has ever given me. I am under no illusion, I think I maybe an addict. Humm this Dark Souls blog is turning a bit, erm Dark.

I have recently mocked my lovely co-blogger for being, well, a bit casual now, to the extent that he said to me that about 80% of his gaming was done with me. I thought that there is no way I can game that little. Hell following his blog about Moba's I sort of realised that recently I have been in search of greater and greater hits. Hence the Dark Souls and me playing LoL. The harder and more complicated a game is the better the satisfaction, and the greater the high for me. That's why I think I have struggled with most multiplayer shooters, they have ruined the satisfaction of doing something awesome, with quick respawns and constant unlocks. Getting a new scope for your weapon in call of battlefield is of little joy compared to nabbing the game winning kill in a game of Counterstrike.

This is not always a good thing, Hex partly didn't enjoy playing LoL with me because I became very quiet, focused and, well, boring I guess. As opposed to the normal me, which is chatting shit and being nasty. A couple of rounds of COD, an "unsatisfying" shooter soon got me chatting, with me not really caring whether I lived or die as I wasn't going to get much of a hit either way.

I have blogged previously about how I no longer have the attention span for TV and movies, however I think that may have been a half truth. I think that these mediums, regardless of quality, don't provide me with the hit I require. There is no task to complete, nothing to achieve and as such no satisfaction to be gained. The compulsion to game usually overwhelms any desire I have to watch a film, hell I enjoy going to the cinema primarily because it forces me to watch the film. So am I addicted to gaming? That is the true question.

There have yet to be any conclusive studies the recognise game addiction, however I have never, in the last decade or so, gone more than a couple of days without gaming. And frankly I am not sure I could, sounds like addiction to me, and I really don't want the withdrawal. I guess from a personal point of view this is me admitting I have a problem, heh "My name is Mr. Fish and I am an addict". I have no intention of doing anything about it though, as addictions go there are only fairly minor downsides, I have to be kept in a steady supply of games, but between Steam Sales, indie bundles and game rentals this isn't to bad. I could easily be described as anti social, but that is far more down to me being quite introverted than the gaming. Other than that, is is not to bad. I AM AN ADDICT AND PROUD OF IT. Ahem.

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